'Hi I'm calling from the Winchester Echo and we're doing a feature on The Lake District and '
'Sorry to interrupt - are you trying to sell me something?'
'No, no. Anyway we are doing this great feature about The Lake District and in particular we are targeting Keswick as a destination market town and '
'Are you trying to sell me advertising or editorial space?'
'No, not at all. Anyway we are going to run the feature next week in time for the August Bank Holiday and '
'Well I'm sorry but it's a bit late as we are full already for the August Bank Holiday. Sorry - but are you trying to sell me something? Advertising or column space?'
'No, no. Anyway we are sure that even if people from our area don't come for the August Bank Holiday that they will remember the piece for any future visits and '
'So how does this affect me? Are you asking me to advertise?'
'No, no. But anyway there is a tremendous circulation of our paper and it not only '
'Sorry to ask again but is this going to cost me money?'
'No, no. And we have a very loyal following and '
'Is this going to cost me money?'
'No, no, not at all. Anyway we are running the feature and have a limited number of spaces available for '
'Sorry to interrupt and ask yet again but is this going to cost me money?'
'Err, yes. But here's the deal there are only '
'Sorry, no thanks.'
'But it's a tremendous offer and you '
'Can I just ask how you found us?'
'Well you are on page one of Google for "Bed and Breakfast in Keswick" and I thought that .... ahh, I see, do you think that maybe I ought to target people on, say, page 3 or 4?'
'That could be a good move.'
'Not at all.'