Another phone conversation

'Hi I'm calling from the Winchester Echo and we're doing a feature on The Lake District and '

'Sorry to interrupt - are you trying to sell me something?'

'No, no. Anyway we are doing this great feature about The Lake District and in particular we are targeting Keswick as a destination market town and '

'Are you trying to sell me advertising or editorial space?'

'No, not at all. Anyway we are going to run the feature next week in time for the August Bank Holiday and '

'Well I'm sorry but it's a bit late as we are full already for the August Bank Holiday. Sorry - but are you trying to sell me something? Advertising or column space?'

'No, no. Anyway we are sure that even if people from our area don't come for the August Bank Holiday that they will remember the piece for any future visits and '

'So how does this affect me? Are you asking me to advertise?'

'No, no. But anyway there is a tremendous circulation of our paper and it not only '

'Sorry to ask again but is this going to cost me money?'

'No, no. And we have a very loyal following and '

'Is this going to cost me money?'

'No, no, not at all. Anyway we are running the feature and have a limited number of spaces available for '

'Sorry to interrupt and ask yet again but is this going to cost me money?'

'Err, yes. But here's the deal there are only '

'Sorry, no thanks.'

'But it's a tremendous offer and you '

'Can I just ask how you found us?'

'Well you are on page one of Google for "Bed and Breakfast in Keswick" and I thought that .... ahh, I see, do you think that maybe I ought to target people on, say, page 3 or 4?'

'That could be a good move.'

'Cheers.'

'Not at all.'

Phone calls

Well dear reader it has been a busy few weeks and it's all a bit of a blur again - one day rolls inexorably in to the next with no days off and no such thing as a weekend. It's busy busy busy - hence the lack of updates.

But I thought I would let you in on a few of the slightly eclectic phone calls I have had recently.


First there was the chap who called to say that he wasn't a climber, had no experience of mountaineering and had never been in a tent - but he's good in the gym - so was it possible for him to come and climb Everest? Not with my group was the reply. Why not? was the answer. So ... after outlining that it is better suited to people who are independent climbers and mountaineers in their own right and that it is a serious knarly place and that if you are a liability to yourself then you are a liability to everyone around you he proudly went on to tell me that he reckoned that he and a few mates might just rock up in Kathmandu, get a permit and that they'll see us at Base Camp. Jolly good.


Next there was another chap (sorry guys - it is generally men rather than women that I hear these crazy ideas from) who had trekked to Everest Base Camp, had ascended Kala Pattar with no problems and, having seen Ama Dablam, wanted to have a go. Again I refer the honourable gentleman to my previous answer.

A while back I had an enquiry about rock climbing. We chatted for at least 30 minutes and I had his e mail address to send the application form as well as debit card details to confirm the booking. We were just saying our goodbyes when he asked 'does it matter that I only have one arm?'

And lastly I have had numerous calls from people such as 'The No1 SEO Company,' or 'The UK Search Engine Optimization Website,' or other such drivel, telling me that they can get me not only on page one of Google but, in some instances, to number one on Google - in the organic listings. Now this creases me up every time because I generally get straight on to the computer whilst we are chatting, type in 'Web SEO' or 'Search Engine Optimization' in to Google and start searching - for them. Whilst we are chatting I casually drop in that we are already on Page 1 or high on Page 2 (and indeed for some key phrases I am No1) and they answer 'well I typed in Hotels in Cumbria and I haven't found you' (interesting - how come you managed to get my details to call me then?). Anyway having pointed out that we are a) not a hotel and b) we aren't just 'in Cumbria' and that c) a person would probably search for 'B&Bs in Keswick,' or 'Keswick B&B accommodation' or other more relevant Keswick accommodation based search phrases I then ask why I haven't found them ... after 14 pages of searching on Google.

At this point the line usually goes dead.

The Bob - update

Bob Graham Round update - 8 mins up on Skiddaw and then 10 mins down by the top of Blencathra. Very difficult and slippy going underfoot along with increasingly poor visibility. 25 mins down by Threlkeld with a good bash on the ankle where I managed to pop it straight in to a rocky crevice on the way down. Oops. At this stage eternal optimism seemed to be the way ahead and, rationalising it, I figured if I made the pit stops 5 mins less and kept the pace going I'd still be in with a slim chance. Especially as I was on a 23 1/2 hour schedule - so there was another 30 minutes!


So my fantastic support crew (who had just been running with me for 4 and a half hours in the wet) pandered to my every need for 10 mins and then I set off on Leg 2 in to the ever decreasing visibility and ever wetter weather with a new support team (1 of whom had just joined at 5 that afternoon because my original navigator had tweeked his back).


Anyway, awful conditions - but, well, you just get on with it. Very difficult nav and lost a bit of time here and there with little purchase in places on the muddy terrain. In fact there were a couple of spots where you would have thought we were wading ankle deep across rivers and streams.

Result was I ended up being 1hr 25 mins down by Dunmail. Sore ankle playing up and the prospect of trying to claw back all that time (in what was not a favourable forecast as it happens) meant that it was knocked on the head. A difficult decision but now that I am hobbling around like Kaiser Soze - the right one.


A big up thank you to the folk that ran with me and my apologies to everyone else who had volunteered to help that I didn't end up needing your services.

Great views coming down of Seat Sandal though when the cloud lifted.

Hey ho.

The Bob

Just been stocking up on pain medication in anticipation of getting very sore knees when attempting The Bob Graham Round starting tomorrow night. Should I really be doing this I ask myself? I'll let you know how it goes on Sunday (or whenever I manage to get out of bed and downstairs). Then again the beauty of WiFi is that I can update from the comfort of my own bed.

Other news - was out on the hill with Pete Sidwell last week for his forthcoming tv series on Channel 4 throughout Sept. Didn't manage to get the B&B mentioned (but maybe slipped in Ama Dablam and Everest - we'll see what the editing team do! Then the kids were being filmed as well for the same series at a tea party.

Guests coming and going and we've been non stop. Last time we didn't have anyone in the B&B was for one night on 8th July and before that was May 26th! One day off in 10 weeks. Hmmm. Tough working for yourself but then it has to be done. And juggled with everything else. Talking of which we will be looking for a member of staff or a couple to run the B&B next April - Jun. Let me know if you are interested.

Apparently the Chubb Fire Extinguisher man only services 15 Bed and Breakast properties in Keswick.